“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. ‘Honor your father and mother.’ This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, ‘things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.’ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free. Masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Don’t threaten them; remember, you both have the same Master in heaven, and he has no favorites.”
Isn’t it easy to use the Bible to understand what other people should do? These verses remind me of the ways that I have tried to get others to relate to me (“Kids, the Bible says you should obey your parents!” and I used to joke when I was a child, “Dad, don’t provoke your children!!”). When we think about the Bible’s teaching on relationships, we need to remember to come at it from a learner’s perspective. “What is God saying to me?” versus “What is God trying to say to everyone else?”
Parent/child relationships can be complicated, and as a counselor I’ve known countless numbers of people who have a strained relationship with their parents or their children. What does it mean to honor your parents when they have abused you? What does it mean to repair damage you may have done to your children? On top of that, reading about slavery in the Bible can be confusing and difficult. In our American history, people have misused the Bible to support slavery. In Paul’s day, Jewish slaves were people who had entered into voluntary slavery with other Jews in order to work off a debt. The main point? Act like Jesus no matter who you are because God doesn’t care at all about your earthly status. We are all the same in his eyes.
Here’s your freedom for today: Jesus always offers new possibilities. I’ve known many people who have repaired and restored broken relationships after years of repentance and work. I’ve known many who have honored their parents or respected their adult children by staying out of their lives appropriately. Still others have found a new family at church and these new relationships are a form of redemption from old family relationships. Jesus can also get you out of indebtedness to others and set you free from all kinds of slavery. No matter where you are at with your relationships, Jesus can guide you into right ways of living. Just keep your eyes on your path and he’ll lead you.