“Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.”
“You want me to what?” she asked incredulously. She had been telling me about an argument she got into with another woman in the church, and her plan was simple: never talk to the other woman again. Unfortunately, she talked to me. I encouraged her to go and repair the relationship – to offer forgiveness and love and a second chance.
Followers of Jesus do relationships differently. Like every area of life, they are following a different set of rules. Here Paul gives a basic outline of those rules. Notice that they aren’t based on what you think the other person deserves. An older man might make a foolish mistake and deserve harsh correction. Nevertheless, Paul teaches us to treat older men with respect. Why? It is, in many ways, a practical set of rules. Older men and women will respond better if we use respect. Younger men will respond better to brotherly camaraderie. Younger women will respond better if they are treated with dignity rather than being objectified. More importantly though, this is a choice to treat people based on who they can become rather than who they currently are.
Here’s your freedom for today: every interaction with another person is a creative act of transformation. You have the power to help people change. That doesn’t mean that you can or should go around giving advice. Instead, you offer people an opportunity when you treat them as if they are what they in fact are not but could be. For example, you can treat an older man as if he deserves respect, even if he doesn’t. In doing so, you give him the opportunity to take a step towards becoming the person worthy of that respect. What could give us the courage to treat people this well? Only this: we know that God has treated each of us exactly like this. He has treated us far better than we deserve, and it has inspired each of us to become better than we’d ever thought possible. It worked for us, so let’s give it a chance to work on someone else.